I've come to the conclusion it is all right for one to have secrets. A was being paranoid that just because I was slightly depressed over maslc being over and such that we were going to break up. Of course, he didn't know my sad mood was caused by maslc. Instead his head jumped to conclusions- I was in love with someone else....

Which wasn't entirely outside the rhelm of possibility. Yes, I felt more for R and possibily he for me even though neither of us pursued that option, save maslc marriage (a joke anyway). And I debated about telling A about what I felt for R, even though it wouldn't have any affect on things going forward. Mom picked up on it, I told L about it...but I'm not going to tell A for 2 reasons: 1. It didn't change our relationship. 2. Nothing is going to happen, and nothing did happen. Besides, it would only upset him and make him paranoid.

So when I was with A, I listened to myself and took my own advice of being firm and knowing what I wanted and not being afraid to ask for it. It worked, and made both me and A happy (yay for bad grammar). Strangely enough this made me feel really independent and empowered, like a strong boost of self confidence. Of course, it didn't hurt that A kept telling me I was beautiful. You have to love devoted boyfriends for that. I totally have him wrapped around my finger, but then again I'm totally wrapped around his.