After Friday night's awkwardness of running into my current...fling, not-boyfriend, guy I'm seeing, I seem to have needed some sort of affirmation. I called M and she agreed G has become the French AC. Hence, I should probably stop seeing him.
Saturday, I went to a party at JE's the other guy I'm currently involved with. It was all right. The food was good, but the people were okay. I was rather silent and a bit bored, my own doing. At the end 4 of us end up going to a dance club bar, the same place that I met G. I was deciding whether or not to pick up a guy and one bumped into me. He wanted to dance, and I agreed. I found out he was American (this seems to be a pattern) and fresh of the boat, so to speak. He was rather nerdy, but in an indearing way- the nice, innocent, eager version of nerdy. He was really in awe of me/ his luck/ something, which was nice. I understood the power position I had, but I didn't want to hurt him.
We end up leaving together and talking/etc, but nothing too too serious. He gave me awful hickeys on my neck, so I'm wearing turtlenecks for a week and also having to sneak around the other guy(s) I'm seeing. C is only in Montp' for another 2 weeks and then he'll be in Switzerland for the rest of the semester. I'm giving this a shot only because of that. But, honestly he's growing on me. We spent this afternoon together and I've backed off a lot in terms of physicality. I like being the "nice girl" right now, it makes me feel less whore-ish.
So I now feel like I've turned into the female version of AC. In turn, I feel like I could juggle the 3 guys, including how I thought of not dating G anymore. I think I can be detached.
But really, I need to study- so I seem to have a few excuses to illude the guys this week.
dimanche 20 janvier 2008
samedi 19 janvier 2008
Guilty pleasure
1. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
Something I'm trying to wrap my head around at the moment. I find it difficult because there are so many meanings to it.
2. Are you a jealous person?
Probably more than I'd admit.
3. What are you allergic to?
Being guilt-free
4. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
Yes, and I hate waiting and knowing yet being angry that they won't do it.
5. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Pistachio or mint chocolate chip
6. What would you rather be doing right now?
Not sure, but I should be studying for my art history final.
7. What song lyric, if any, is stuck in your head at the moment?
"Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story"
8. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Yes, but I biz much more often in France.
9. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
Depends on the personality
10. Can you make others cry easily?
Not sure, but I'm really good at playing games. I don't know if that would lead to crying.
11. Who was the last person to piss you off?
G, because I didn't know what to expect.
12. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
In English, yes....in French, well I'm trying.
13. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
No
14. Were you a "planned" child?
Yes
15. Last thing said?
Merci....ou quelque chose comme ca
16. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
8-9 ish
17. What is your most unfavorite alcoholic drink?
Some horrible thing that I had at the Up & Down in October
18. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
Umm....
19. Would you ever be attracted to someone physically unattractive?
Yes, if the intelligence/emotional attraction was really strong.
20. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Possibly
21. Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date?
I'll take handouts, I admit it.
22. Do you currently want any piercings or tattoos?
Not anymore, although the face piercings around the mouth are cute on certain people.
23. What movies do you know the lines to?
Most movies from my childhood.
24. Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
No, but I have entertained the notion.
25. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
I've told secrets this week....
26. What should you be doing right now?
Studying
27. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
depends on how outgoing I feel at that moment
28. When was your last road trip?
road trip, I suppose with Mom touring southern France over Christmas break
30. What are you thinking about right now?
Last night...ehh
31. Who's house did you last go to?
chez Emma et Jessica...or chez moi maintenant
32. Do you like your hometown?
Now that I've left it....
34. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
I've got 3 on today....Anne Taylor Loft, The Limited, Express
35. Where is the last place you took a ride to?
Tram...anywhere in Montp' or train to Bordeaux
36. What was the last thing you ate?
lunch
37.Would you kiss the person you last kissed again?
Yes, probably
38.Where were you last night?
At a party trying to not be awkward, but failing
Something I'm trying to wrap my head around at the moment. I find it difficult because there are so many meanings to it.
2. Are you a jealous person?
Probably more than I'd admit.
3. What are you allergic to?
Being guilt-free
4. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
Yes, and I hate waiting and knowing yet being angry that they won't do it.
5. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Pistachio or mint chocolate chip
6. What would you rather be doing right now?
Not sure, but I should be studying for my art history final.
7. What song lyric, if any, is stuck in your head at the moment?
"Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story"
8. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Yes, but I biz much more often in France.
9. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
Depends on the personality
10. Can you make others cry easily?
Not sure, but I'm really good at playing games. I don't know if that would lead to crying.
11. Who was the last person to piss you off?
G, because I didn't know what to expect.
12. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
In English, yes....in French, well I'm trying.
13. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
No
14. Were you a "planned" child?
Yes
15. Last thing said?
Merci....ou quelque chose comme ca
16. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
8-9 ish
17. What is your most unfavorite alcoholic drink?
Some horrible thing that I had at the Up & Down in October
18. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
Umm....
19. Would you ever be attracted to someone physically unattractive?
Yes, if the intelligence/emotional attraction was really strong.
20. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Possibly
21. Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date?
I'll take handouts, I admit it.
22. Do you currently want any piercings or tattoos?
Not anymore, although the face piercings around the mouth are cute on certain people.
23. What movies do you know the lines to?
Most movies from my childhood.
24. Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
No, but I have entertained the notion.
25. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
I've told secrets this week....
26. What should you be doing right now?
Studying
27. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
depends on how outgoing I feel at that moment
28. When was your last road trip?
road trip, I suppose with Mom touring southern France over Christmas break
30. What are you thinking about right now?
Last night...ehh
31. Who's house did you last go to?
chez Emma et Jessica...or chez moi maintenant
32. Do you like your hometown?
Now that I've left it....
34. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
I've got 3 on today....Anne Taylor Loft, The Limited, Express
35. Where is the last place you took a ride to?
Tram...anywhere in Montp' or train to Bordeaux
36. What was the last thing you ate?
lunch
37.Would you kiss the person you last kissed again?
Yes, probably
38.Where were you last night?
At a party trying to not be awkward, but failing
dimanche 13 janvier 2008
Mistakes of the past
I got a phone call out of the blue today, from JM. She asked a simple question, "Did I go out with AC on Thanksgiving." "Yes." That was it.
I mentioned something of that on Friday at a party. Not to a friend of hers, but I supposed another close by may have overheard. I feel the need to reach out to JM. She's probably hurt and confused and found herself caught in AC's lies. She wasn't a friend of mine, and frankly I was jealous and didn't care.
Should I send something discretely? A simple- if you want answers, I can give you mine. I don't know what you are going through, but if you want truth I can tell you my version.
I mentioned something of that on Friday at a party. Not to a friend of hers, but I supposed another close by may have overheard. I feel the need to reach out to JM. She's probably hurt and confused and found herself caught in AC's lies. She wasn't a friend of mine, and frankly I was jealous and didn't care.
Should I send something discretely? A simple- if you want answers, I can give you mine. I don't know what you are going through, but if you want truth I can tell you my version.
mardi 1 janvier 2008
reflections for 07/08
Today is January 1st. I somewhat forgot about this, seeing as today is my limbo day for vacations. My mother left for the States this morning; tomorrow I take a train to Bordeaux. I am feeling a little bit lonely right now, but oddly I think I would feel less this way if the apartment were completely open. J and C have slept off hangovers/partying/etc...I've shut myself in my room because it seems easiest. I need to shower, but the idea seems difficult right now.
AW was going to visit me in France, supposedly coming today or tomorrow. He has found a new love, and with it no longer a need to see me. This is a huge relief, honestly. I was fretting about the trip. I was pissed he didn't tell me earlier, but I booked my own vacation. I'm leaving tomorrow, I've done some research, I shall be fine, especially if I'm cheap with my money. This truly means that we have broken up, though I feel a pang of hurt. He has completely fallen for this other girl; I joked that they would be engaged when I got back.
At the same time, I feel the urge to see G again. I tried last night, but he was away. I never feel snubbed with him- he has a life with legit commitments. I still miss him, in a way, we're hopelessly awkward together, but maybe that's improving. He's extremely sweet and I hope that this won't go away too quickly.
All the same, this break between semesters (faux, but here is where the break exists) makes me feel lonely. Friends have left. I still have friends here, who will be coming back...but there is still unknown. I'm sad that I don't have anyone to call for tonight. I need to get out, but I suspect I will eat a simple dinner, pack, and watch movies in my bed before going to sleep early. I do catch a train at 7:30 tomorrow.
AW was going to visit me in France, supposedly coming today or tomorrow. He has found a new love, and with it no longer a need to see me. This is a huge relief, honestly. I was fretting about the trip. I was pissed he didn't tell me earlier, but I booked my own vacation. I'm leaving tomorrow, I've done some research, I shall be fine, especially if I'm cheap with my money. This truly means that we have broken up, though I feel a pang of hurt. He has completely fallen for this other girl; I joked that they would be engaged when I got back.
At the same time, I feel the urge to see G again. I tried last night, but he was away. I never feel snubbed with him- he has a life with legit commitments. I still miss him, in a way, we're hopelessly awkward together, but maybe that's improving. He's extremely sweet and I hope that this won't go away too quickly.
All the same, this break between semesters (faux, but here is where the break exists) makes me feel lonely. Friends have left. I still have friends here, who will be coming back...but there is still unknown. I'm sad that I don't have anyone to call for tonight. I need to get out, but I suspect I will eat a simple dinner, pack, and watch movies in my bed before going to sleep early. I do catch a train at 7:30 tomorrow.
Inscription à :
Articles (Atom)
