vendredi 23 novembre 2007

He came back?

Last night I plunged into something that I thought was finished forever. At the Thanksgiving dinner, AC asked about us. It had been nearly 2 months. I thought I was dropped. We sort of started talking about it and I had to give a speech. The entire evening he kept flirting with me. I had no idea what his agenda was. Never-the-less, I was intrigued.
At the after party, he was somewhat intoxicated. We slid into a booth and sort of finished our conversation. I laid it down for him. I think I agreed to give it another shot, but not without misgivings. We went to another bar, at this point I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision. So, I decide I need more alcohol to ease the situation. We talk again at this bar. It's extremely loud. I live right around the corner, so eventually I begged for an escort home. I don't know what everyone else thought, nor do I care.
It was raining, we sauntered home. He lit cigarettes under overhangs. We kept talking about us and the mistakes and the misinterpretations and the apologies. I told him about my French lover. Now, I wish I hadn't. It would have given me more leverage.
He came up to my apartment...still continuing the conversation. This time we actually decided to do the boyfriend and girlfriend thing. I still have the issue of my French lover, but I don't entirely trust AC, so I'll cool it for this weekend and see where we are. I feel like if I jump into this too quickly, I'll get burned again. G and I aren't serious. I could drop it and there probably won't be too many hurt feelings. I need to see how AC is. He can tell me all kinds of things, but I have to be with him for more than a week, and not in a concentrated period, to really see it.
I'm being secretive. I can't tell anyone this; I know what my friends would say.

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