reflections for 07/08

Today is January 1st. I somewhat forgot about this, seeing as today is my limbo day for vacations. My mother left for the States this morning; tomorrow I take a train to Bordeaux. I am feeling a little bit lonely right now, but oddly I think I would feel less this way if the apartment were completely open. J and C have slept off hangovers/partying/etc...I've shut myself in my room because it seems easiest. I need to shower, but the idea seems difficult right now.

AW was going to visit me in France, supposedly coming today or tomorrow. He has found a new love, and with it no longer a need to see me. This is a huge relief, honestly. I was fretting about the trip. I was pissed he didn't tell me earlier, but I booked my own vacation. I'm leaving tomorrow, I've done some research, I shall be fine, especially if I'm cheap with my money. This truly means that we have broken up, though I feel a pang of hurt. He has completely fallen for this other girl; I joked that they would be engaged when I got back.

At the same time, I feel the urge to see G again. I tried last night, but he was away. I never feel snubbed with him- he has a life with legit commitments. I still miss him, in a way, we're hopelessly awkward together, but maybe that's improving. He's extremely sweet and I hope that this won't go away too quickly.

All the same, this break between semesters (faux, but here is where the break exists) makes me feel lonely. Friends have left. I still have friends here, who will be coming back...but there is still unknown. I'm sad that I don't have anyone to call for tonight. I need to get out, but I suspect I will eat a simple dinner, pack, and watch movies in my bed before going to sleep early. I do catch a train at 7:30 tomorrow.