What do I do? I'm caught in an awful predicament, the only thing that would make it better is to know that AW is in it with me. It finally happened, I knew it was going to and I wanted it to....but I'm finally facing the reality of it. AW finally made his move, after about a week and a half. After AM and SD left last night I stayed and watched Family Guy in his room. Things were like how they were Friday night. We were cuddling but nothing more. After awhile I brought it up, because it was obvious we both had feelings for each other, regardless of the signifigant others we had back home. He was caught just as I was...torn between his girlfriend of 2 years who was far away and had been far away for a long time. I was torn between this amazing guy right here, versus the one I had left at home. We started talking about it and I began stroking his face lightly. I stopped and he wanted me to keep going. And then we kissed, and kissed and kissed. He's a completely different style than the other guys I've kissed before. He's so soft and gentle...very tender and loving. Versus forceful and wet with a lot of tongue. I liked it, that's how I would rather it be. So we made out multiple times and it didn't go that far. I ended up sleeping in his bed since it was 4 in the morning and he wanted me to stay.

So we slept in the same bed, side by side....like A and I had done...occassional when we were both awake we'd caress one another....I stayed in his bed until he had to get up for work. So I'll spend the day sleeping and doing homework before I call him tonight after work.

I'm not sure about this...I know I'm going to break it off with A soon. Besides the cheating...my interest is being too easily swayed and the love in downsizing into just friend status. I'm not sure when I'll do it. AW said we'll not be together initially...so we can break off relationships and settle in a little better. He doesn't want to change directions that drastically right now. But he assured me that nothing will be weird between us. We'll be friends with benefits. I trust him. He could have pushed last night, but didn't. He could have made his move last week, but he didn't. But he had his eye on me before we ate dinner and met at school for the first time last wednesday.

And A sent me an e-mail about how confident he is about the relationship. He's so optimist. I'm going to crush him. I'm afraid to phone him...I'll resort to e-mail and probably break it off next week.

But I'm going to take a nap before I do homework.