nostalgic in ny

the last day of spring break..... 2 days ago i was in ny.....3 days ago i was hanging out with K

K......never, ever, is he going to leave my thoughts.........he'll always be buried in the back of my mind in some capacity. i'm amazed things turned out the way they did.

K, who now lives in ny after graduating from amda. at mom's suggestion i get the number from K's mom. i call him up, thinking of being brushed off....instead he's happy to hear from me and wants to spend time together. i'm amazed. we were never that close even when we were doing theatre together back in the day. so i meet him and his gf, we hang out, he walks me back to the hotel and we say goodbye.

there's more than that. K treats as AW did when we first met. he has that aloofness, nonchalance. when we were alone together (those moments in his apartment or on the way to the hotel) he would look at me as AW did. holding back, yet wanting more. am i reading too far into it? it was completely gone when his gf was with us. i got the underlying impression there was a bit of competition, like she was catty....but nice on the surface. i loved how the conversation flowed between us on the way back. i loved how he hugged me when we met and parted.....i loved how he held my gaze before saying goodbye.

one thing is for certain: he will never be able to leave my thoughts in that way. i will always revert to my teenage fantasies. how i wish we could have dated....and i still wish that. my fantasy could still come true. run into each other in ny, hit it off, date for awhile....wouldn't it be funny if we got married and went home to introduce the fiance to our parents, only to find they knew us. wishful thinking that will never happen....but nontheless, a girl can dream, can't she?