tired of school

3 weeks....

then, home?

that transition when i either have 2 homes.....or no home

PE told me something today, "when you figure out AW, you will be a goddess....you just have to find his one flaw."

"...his ego."

"yeah, that's part of it, but......"

....

"but i can see now that he is smitten with me"

"he is. why do you think he keeps coming back to you?"

....

i stare at my reflection in my window. i think i've become more pretty, or have i been that way all along and i'm finally starting to acknowledge it. this always seems to happen to me when i'm with a boy who will randomly tell me i'm gorgeous. even more so when this boy doesn't do it very often, just often enough to make me stop and sigh.

...

"this is what can best be defined as an adult relationship."

"you mean because we aren't the stereotypical version of the high school couple?"

"yes, because we aren't dependent on one another. you do your thing, i do mine, and we are still together. but i care for you, truly care."

....

"where do you see us?"

"i don't know. i'll graduate and either work or go to grad school- in one of the big three. but i know you'll always be in my life. you can visit me when i leave, if you want."

"whoa, i meant in college.....i wasn't even thinking about when you graduate.....are you referring to marriage at all?"

"it might happen, who can say."

.....

"i love you."

....

where am i? i seem so lost in this, but i think he' s lost, too. but being lost is a good thing. we're still separate- we'll always be able to maintain identity- but we slowly intertwine. the intimacy is becoming more precious....i need this, this healing, this growing up....that's what this feels like, growing up. my best friend, my lover, my.....

....