.....

feeling sickish...headachy, weird esophagus/ chest thing going on. eating, swollowing is painful. not good...i'm rather small anyway and if i had little drive to eat....

otherwise, why is it when i'm at school i feel like i've lost my life? my days seem to be filled no matter what and i seem surprised when the day is over. today i laid in AW's bed until 2:00, showered, ate pizza with him, and went shopping. now its 7:00 and i'm not wanting to move, though i have 2 social oportunities.

should hang out with people, will improve attitude/ support system. but want space and an early bed time for the first time since i've been here. its extremely hard to go to bed before midnight here. 10:00 and being asleep is nearly impossible. i feel like a walking zombie.

school just tires me. this sick feeling is not a good sign. already, i'm fed up with this situation and supressing feelings...not good. lied to my mother on the phone saying everything was ok. didn't tell her of my ailments. all i know is that life is seemingly manageable. i'm happier than i was last semester, but this busyness is overwhelming. this from the crazy person who habitually overloads herself.

i'm writing primarily in fragments....hmmm.