this is me

i find myself not moving forward, except in very small baby steps. 6 weeks of school are left and within this time i feel as if i'm moving through the motions. i expect that is a similar feeling among all. i want to be finished, despite the uncertainty of summer post-Paris.

i was looking at potential summer school classes. nothing fits because i'm gone the entire month of june. i found Middlebury, which intreged me. I might do that next summer, French most likely.

I miss exploring. i miss my close friends. i miss growing. i wonder if staying in one place for 18 years make me feel like i should constantly move now that i'm older. leaving after 2 years....i feel that i need a fresh start. i liked being a freshman, just so i could find how life could work in a different place.

ironically, i've been improving on the subjects that interest me. i've had some good moments in French or with SH. I like that. I'm going to miss her. But I like that she understands my decision the best. Voice lessons have been ironically good. I'm not sure if its the level of study I've achieved or the lack of stress. Another good lesson and all that happened was me practicing for an hour last night and something clicking in my head today.

Things that make me happy right now:

1. Doing well on homework
2. Having nearly free weekends
3. Watching good movies
4. Listening to French radio
5. Having free evenings
6. Good voice lessons
7. Understanding more in my French class
8. Conversations with SH
9. Bleu, Blanc, Rouge
10. Knowing that I'm not goint to be here next year
11. Sleeping in on Tuesday and Thursday
12. Going to bed early
13. Paris at the end of the semester
14. Loving moments with AW
15. EC
16. Being independent
17. De-cluttering my room
18. Making random signs/letters with DJ
19. Knowing that the semester's more than half over
20. Probably being very close to a 4.0