school + me = done

my fowl mood from the weekend seems to have carried over. despite school being almost finished, i despise nearly every second that i'm still here. the weather is beautiful and i can't stand being here.

plus, i seemed to have furthered the melancholy of the situation. i'm picking fights with AW. He's been stressed lately and not dealing with it that well. I'm tired of him being set off by everything and his "melodrama". Now, I'm playing the introverted "leave me alone" card. And I know that it makes everything worse for him; i've abandoned him. We were quietly fighting before he had to go to opera workshop. Yesterday, he was concerned about me while I was endlessly sobbing. Today, I'm running away because he's asking for help with his problems.

my response is to leave each other alone for a few days. i know i'm being manipulative and just twisting the knife. but it's also the mood i've fallen into. i need to be alone. i know it hurts for me to push him away but it's the only thing i know to do.

on an ironic side note: i've been wait-listed at Sarah Lawrence College. Is this all I'm getting? I'm accepted to my safety schools and wait-listed at my top choices....well, there are worse things. Besides, Sarah Lawrence est tres cher. I don't have the money to pay for it.