death and loss

I guess it is simply the passage of time and as I grow older, those in my life age and fall ill. How unfortunate that in this time of medicinal advancement, diseases such as cancer and heart attacks still cut life short. Three deaths of people close to me as I've been here. One a family member, and the others as if they were part of mine. Perhaps I haven't properly grieved from this fall. But I am now.

I've always had a strange 6th sense of death. When my Aunt M passed away, I had a most moving experience. She came to me just after she died and held me close, then released me. I didn't know then what had happened. I only knew that something was wrong. Since then, I am happy for that last, strong memory of her.

This time it is my first voice teacher. He has always been like a grandfather to me. My relationship with him in high school and throughout college always seemed like a proud grandparent. I learned so much from him and he always cared about me. I loved how when I came home from holidays he would give me hugs. That's something from a tough Norweigan old fart. I loved those twinkles in his eyes whenever the choir sang well or when he was proud of a performance. I haven't seen him since last August and I'm so sad that I won't be there for the funeral. I can only image the scores of musicians- so many that he taught and made better singers. There will be wonderful music for him.

Now I'm listening to Ein Deutshes Requiem, requiem for the living. I will find comfort in this. He had a long full life, filled with great music and great teachings. I'm certain I was not the only student to love him.