Procrasting like none other/ musings

I had a really long journal session detailing the events of yesterday, more specifically last night/ early this morning. I ended up with A again. This is nothing serious or long-term, this is merely when two people decide to revisit memories and realized how far they've come. I met him for a drink, knowing full well everything that is between us and bad hang-ups/ whatever I have. We went to Shakespeare's- nothing like good kharma and a kind of full circle to a long living/ learning period. We sit at the same table (of course) and talk. He tells me I've changed a lot and I agree. I pull out my drivers license and show him that I don't look like my picture anymore. We laugh about that.

I feel like I've come so far with A. I was so hurt and jealous last semester. I tried to get my self out of it in January and I know I've finally done it by now. He asked me stuff about what happened. I have my version and he, his. He told me that sometimes (or a lot) he's just and idiot and makes stupid mistakes. I don't need his excuses, I know how he is now, but at least I know he's sorry. He kept telling me I was such a nice girl and that I was pretty. Both of those things every 10 minutes for most of the night. He asked me about G and I told him minimal of what happened. He asked about now, I told him about JS. That killed the conversation for a bit.

What I realized about A is that he was a lesson I needed to learn. I learned it and I can still be involved with him. We went to my place and fell into old habits. He asked me what was going to happen and I told him not to calculate it; what happens is what's going to happen. Which is exactly what came to pass. I don't want to analyze my life anymore, I just want to let it happen. I like it when things like this fall into my lap. That's my theory on meeting people and having relationships. I'm not going to let myself taken advantage of, because I like to think I know the signs of being played. Also, because I'm not getting too close, I'm having fun with it.

My vacation has turned into visiting guys I've met while here. I have an idea of what will happen between us when I visit them. The old me would have felt promiscuous and guilty. The new me is just re-visiting and making new memories. I'm guaranteed a good time in all of those places, especially when I am in such good company. I'm really excited about Gronigen and D; I have a weird longterm feeling about him, even though geographically it is impossible right now.

My biggest lesson from France is how to live life. Last semester I was proud to have my usual school stresses melt away. Now, maybe I've let my personal stresses go as well.
Nt